I thought I’d talk about ‘mirroring’ – which is simply where an individual replicates the behaviour or attitudes of another. I started thinking about this because of the behaviours and styles of leadership I’m seeing currently from public leaders etc. This then led me to consider how this might influence people to adapt unhelpful styles for their own leadership.

Now we all copy or mirror behaviours – it might be from our parents, mentors and teachers. It helps us to execute things we haven’t experienced or done before and can enhance our approach. And this is absolutely the right thing to do. However, there’s a real challenge when the examples that come across as strong or effective and that we decide to follow, don’t put people first, are ego or power centric. Featuring a command-and-control approach of transactional leadership – styles we have mainly moved away from.

A positive style isn’t always easy to maintain but to achieve consistency it all comes down to living to our purpose and values. Knowing who we are and who we need to be to effectively and responsibly lead. Leaders are there to make a difference, inspire high performance and set direction. If done well they can create longevity for the organisation and a legacy from making lasting and hopefully positive impressions on the people they lead.

Behaviours and Approach

It’s clear that we all have a style of leading and working. By this I mean an approach to how you interact with people, make decisions and achieve momentum in performance from those who report into you.

We hardly pay attention to this, but we do copy styles in a bid to develop how best to lead. An aspiring leader might be looking for direction. How to have impact and make their mark. They might have worked with someone who was incredibly charismatic, and they decide to mirror that style based on the high impact the person had on them. So, mirroring isn’t all bad, it’s what we all do.

In these times when trust is low and people are wanting more from leadership not least of all but because we just cannot survive well without it, what is the right balance of style? If we can’t follow leaders and they don’t inspire with positive behaviours, then what should we do?

As mentioned I believe it’s even more necessary, in these times, to develop style based on what’s important (purpose), what keeps us grounded (values), and what do we know that we are naturally good at (strengths)? We have to know who we are and what we stand for. It’s no longer okay to operate in a style of leadership that lacks awareness and is dismissive of these qualities.

If all we do is mirror or copy, without understanding what we are really about, then it’s possible that we could compromise our leadership or become ineffective. How we act in crisis or challenge will become questionable, integrity falls by the wayside and character skills remain under-developed. This can lead to a lack of trust and result in people not following or taking us seriously.

There are so many reasons why this is important for leadership today. The quality and effectiveness of leaders impacts recruitment, retention, culture, wellbeing, decision-making, productivity, performance and financial success. As an example, 34% employees felt that uncaring and uninspiring leaders were the top reasons for quitting (World Economic Forum 2022).

Leadership Styles

Kurt Lewin 1939 introduced a framework of three main leadership styles include:
Authoritarian (autocratic) – Democratic (participative) – Laissez-faire (delegative).

These have evolved and there are many versions however it’s more current for us to use Daniel Goleman’s six styles for reference:

So perhaps this is where we need to pause and review how we are behaving and how it is affecting the people around us, the work of decision making and the overall role of leadership. There are many views on what this means, but I like Franklin Covey’s simple approach that features four essential roles of leadership: ‘Inspire Trust, Create Vision, Execute Strategy and Coach Potential’.

And these themes are central to leadership that engages employees and maintains performance and productivity as well as preventing them from leaving creating a skills gap.

Here are five ways we can make a shift and while we notice how others lead, create our own style based on who we are and what’s important to achieve both for the job and the people we serve:

• Review if the style you’re mirroring aligns with your values and purpose. You’ll know if it does when you do something and it makes you feel uncomfortable, or there’s a nudge inside that says you’ve done something wrong. Don’t ignore that feeling – explore what and why it’s there.

• If you haven’t already – know your values and identify how they play out in your leadership. They will guide you to make the right decisions and act responsibly. When you live to your values you will recognise when something isn’t right – you will get that check that supports what you need to agree or disagree with.

• Understand the leadership styles and what they achieve. Find out what these styles mean and how they can fit your approach. Then learn how to be flexible through styles based on who you are and need to be at any given time.

• Get coaching and support if you find it difficult to connect with this or you are finding yourself moving in a direction you don’t like. Be honest with yourself – it’s easy to ignore the effect you’re having on people when it’s busy and you’re moving at pace, but consider how much better your leadership can be if you address those areas that are not generating good performance, retention and productivity in others.

• And finally, know that this kind of development can take time so be patient with yourself. The best thing would be if you take the time and effort to be individual and develop to become a better leader, rather than expecting things to change overnight.

Think where your behaviour might subconsciously be mirroring poor leadership practices you consistently see, that don’t align to your values and who you truly are. Then see the difference that makes to your effectiveness and peace of mind.